"And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables:"
-Mark 4:11
Listen to what Jesus is saying here. He is telling us that his words are encoded. Jesus is telling you this fact without any chance of misinterpretation. This verse is the very core of understanding The New Testament. Ancient Christians knew this, understood this., and practiced this.
God Loves you. So, quit barkin' up the wrong tree, get off your knees, and go apologize to the people you've wronged.